Twilight In A Few Words


To all those Twi-hard out there, have you ever wished there was a condensed version of the stories? Having this love/hate relationship with the series, that thought did cross my mind a couple of times. I want to re-read the books so that I can justify to people why I like/dislike them, but I can’t seem to get off my backside and re-read all four books. (Don’t ask how I know, but apparently there are 2,358 pages altogether… -_-’)

Anyway, as I trolled around internet I stumbled upon this link, and lo and behold! there is a Dr. Seuss version of Twilight. And by ‘Twilight’ I mean the first book, not the entire series. Such a shame, if I’m honest. I would love to “read” until Breaking Dawn.

Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won’t kill boys. He won’t kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He’s a tracker.
He’s a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella’s cut.
She won’t be a vampire.
But…

She becomes one. Read some more.
She’s a vampire in book 4.

Disclaimer: Clearly, I do not own this Dr. Seuss version of Twilight… “unicycle” does. No copyright infringement intended.

Lookie What I Found!


So in accordance to my English Lit. homework, I’ve searched in the internet the many versions of Hamlet in film. I’ve managed to find three: a 1996 movie with Kate Winslet as Ophelia, a 1990 movie with Mel Gibson as Hamlet, and one really, really old version made in 1948. (As for the David Tennant fan in me, I’m searching for a video of that play for fun.)

Anyway, as I was searching through the web pages, I stumbled upon this nifty poem.

Green Eggs and Hamlet

I ask to be or not to be.
That is the question I ask of me.
This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
My uncle's boffing dear sweet mother.
Would I, could I take me life?
Could I, should I end this strife?
Should I jump out of a plane?
Or throw myself before a train?
Should I from a cliff just leap?
Could I put myself to sleep?
Shoot myself or take some poison?
Maybe try self immolation?
To shudder off this mortal coil,
I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
Slash my wrists while in the bath?
Would it end my angst and wrath?
To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub.
I could drop a toaster in my tub.
Would all be glad if I were dead?
Could I perhaps kill them instead?
This line of thought takes consideration-
For I'm the king of procrastination.

Awesome, isn’t it? It brought a smile to my face ^__^