Nostalgia [no-stal-juh, -jee-uh, nuh-]

noun

1. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

The thing is, I just found out from an old classmate of mine that the second batch of seniors from Bethel International School has graduated high school. If you don’t already know, his class is my old one, the one I used to be part of before I left and moved to England and I honestly feel happy for them, though I couldn’t help but feel a poignant sadness about the whole thing.

I mean, graduation. That’s like, leaving government enforced education and choosing to continue your learning further. Apart from those (slightly) overbearing parents, no one’s forcing you to go to college or university or whatever it is you want to call it. It’s your choice.

Anyway — college (or university) is a big step, and it’s a big step that I might have taken if I had decided to stay in the Philippines and just not leave. Of course, pursuing my education here in England is a valid and, arguably, the better option for me… but I miss my friends back home.

Year 2010, Junior Year

Though we weren’t the most innocent lot, I miss the naivety.

Though life was just as tough then as it is now, I miss the easiness of it.

Though I have some awesome friends here, I miss my classmates/friends/family-of-sorts.

I’m not usually this weepy (not that I’m crying or anything… I just have this ache in my chest), but I suppose looking through those old pictures in Facebook did not help. Don’t get me wrong: I like Facebook and the fact how simple it is to save memories, but can’t it stop fueling the fire??

Gah, this nostalgia is killing me.

I was looking through the pictures and I was thinking “wow, I’ve changed so much, and yet so little” because I’m still me… but different. My face is still covered in acne, my teeth are still horrendously crooked and most of the time, I had my glasses on. Not the best image out there, but they bring back so many memories!

I wish I could have been there for my classmates, celebrate the joyous occasion and all that… if not as a fellow graduate but as a supporting friend (I would have taken LOTS of pictures if that was the case). I wish I had the ability to jump from one place to another like Christensen’s character in Jumper.

Now that’s a cool ability to have.

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