To Be Average


I just got out of my Media lesson and I realized something: everyone I know has something about themselves, something in their personalities or a hobby that they do, that make them stand out from everybody else. You that popular saying “everyone is unique, just like everybody else?” That quote applies to everyone… everyone but me.

I honestly think there's something wrong with the way I'm wired.

What makes me stand out from the general public? What do I do that makes me stand out from my peers? Am I unique, just like everyone else?

I once took a test last year, I can’t recall if it was an IQ test or an aptitude one, but the result it gave me was 120. According to the grading sheet, my intelligence was average and that I was neither creative nor logical. Basically, I am average.

That’s a daunting thought because, well, I don’t want to be average. I don’t want to stand out either, because to stand out means to actually talk to people and be happy and polite all the time — I’m perfectly happy with my small group of friends, thanks. However, I really would like to have a defining oomph (I honestly don’t know how else to say it).

I’m not creative. I can’t draw or paint or design something to save my life. But I’d like to think that I can write a decent story. I’m no Shakespeare, but writing has always been a passion of mine.

I’m not logical either. In Pottermore, there was a chapter near the end of Philosopher’s Stone wherein you have to channel Hermione and figure out which potions are safe to drink else you would ‘die’. I worked for about twenty minutes on that riddle and still got it wrong, and in the end I gave up and just began choosing potions randomly.

As I think more about it, I began thinking so what if some test told me I was average? I may not be excelling in my lessons at the moment — Media Studies is a killer and Mathematics is just… don’t even go there — but I’m willing to work hard to get what I want.

Busy, Busy, Busy…


I’ve been so swamped up with school work, I think a part of my molecular structure has morphed into a bee or something. Geddit? Busy bee? ^__^

School has pretty much taken over my life. I know I’ve complained about the lack of work I’ve had in the past, but honestly, I was not expecting this. I mean, I don’t mind waking up as early as seven am (not much, anyway). And I don’t mind the fifteen to twenty-minute walk (depending on speed) to school either, once I figured out which way to go. What I’m really worked up about is the school work.

the basic gist of my schedule

At the beginning of the school year — that is, just two weeks ago — I was taking four lessons: English Literature, ICT, Media Studies and Mathematics. However, after the first few lessons, I decided to quit ICT because it was not what I expected. Researching about the NHS and Britain’s dental health was not what I wanted to do after leaving school, so yeah…

As for English Lit, I had to read The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and do essays — pretty easy, though it requires some time and effort. Media Studies is, to be honest, not what I expected. It’s a BTEC course, meaning there would be no exam and your grades will be based on the homework and projects in class. I’m trying my hardest here to get Distinctions.

And for Maths, well… (I can’t believe I’m saying this, but) I miss the Maths in the Philippines!! Back there, all you had to do was listen to the lesson and do the work your teacher assigned you, then pass it the next day. Here, the teacher has to go over points again and again, and then assign homework to be passed the next week! The suspense kills me. I am so not used to the British school system yet >_<

So it seems I’m a very hard-working student who does her work immediately and days before it’s due. But then, how come I feel to swamped all the time? Perhaps it’s because on top of the homework, I have to do house chores as well. Or maybe it’s the fifteen to twenty-minute walk (depending on speed) that eats my energy away.

I dunno, but either way, I’m as busy as a bee.

Things to do:

  1. For English Lit.
    • finish reading The God of Small Things
    • watch several versions of Hamlet
    • research on 1950s America (in preparation for The View Under the Bridge by Arthur Miller)
    • buy a copy of The View Under the Bridge by Arthur Miller
    • complete the first three grids on the Hamlet booklet
  2. For Media Studies
    • essay on “What is Media Studies?”
  3. Maths
    • complete the re-do of the unit test (don’t ask; I got a 62%)
    • check/mark exercises F, G, H and I
    • oh, and start writing more neatly (as if that is possible for me)