To all those Twi-hard out there, have you ever wished there was a condensed version of the stories? Having this love/hate relationship with the series, that thought did cross my mind a couple of times. I want to re-read the books so that I can justify to people why I like/dislike them, but I can’t seem to get off my backside and re-read all four books. (Don’t ask how I know, but apparently there are 2,358 pages altogether… -_-’)
Anyway, as I trolled around internet I stumbled upon this link, and lo and behold! there is a Dr. Seuss version of Twilight. And by ‘Twilight’ I mean the first book, not the entire series. Such a shame, if I’m honest. I would love to “read” until Breaking Dawn.
Twilight, by Dr. Seuss
Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.
See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.
Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.
Ed won’t kill boys. He won’t kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.
This is James. He’s a tracker.
He’s a sort of vamp attacker.
James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.
But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!
Edward fixes Bella’s cut.
She won’t be a vampire.
She becomes one. Read some more.
She’s a vampire in book 4.
Disclaimer: Clearly, I do not own this Dr. Seuss version of Twilight… “unicycle” does. No copyright infringement intended.